Natural
by Galacticlone
Summary: Purple hears about the natural smeet movement blossoming on Irk and is immediately smitten with the idea. After a month of careful consideration, he decides to pop the question. But, will his idiot of a husband feel the same? (Requested RAPR Family AU one shot).


Saw this on tumblr as a request from **0xstar-cerealzx0**, and I thought it would be super cute so I'm filling it (because I have an incredible love for the RAPR family AU). I hope you enjoy this one shot, random human I halfway stalked, and I hope it fills your RAPR family needs. If you like the RAPR family AU in general, you should check out my other fic "_You, Plus Me, Equals Three_," on my page detailing the life of these two idiot tall dads and the hilarious shenanigans their smeet gets into, or my fic "_Finish Your Coffee_" which is legit a fluffy RAPR pregnancy announcement. Have fun lovely angel!

**A BIT DIFFERENT THAN ADOPTION BECAUSE I HAD AN IDEA BUT WHATEVS HERE IT IS REGARDLESS.**

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL FIRST FIC IN THE TRIFECTA OF ZIL'S HATCHING FROM YOU, PLUS ME, EQUALS THREE. Yay! It will now go  
1)Natural  
2)Finish Your Coffee  
3)You, Plus Me, Equals Three

**Rated T for light language and mentions of adult activity.**

ALSO **Larrimeme** if you read this, i have not forgotten about your latest request and am actively working on it darling!

* * *

"Ugh, I think I'm getting arthritis or something." Purple mumbled unenthusiastically, finally taking a gulp of a breath when Red unclasped his corset from behind and rolling the stiffness of the day from his narrow shoulders.

"You're not old enough to have arthritis, idiot." Red chuckled warmly with a snicker, shucking his wrist gauntlets carelessly to the floor before letting himself flop face first into their plush mattress, mumbling something into their comforter when the cozy fabric curled up in kindhearted welcome around him. "Turn off the light, I'm tired."

Purple hesitated a moment, staring down at his near comatose husband when he sighed and went limp before crossing to the panel in the far wall. "You wanna go to bed already?" He asked with a fleeting smile, flicking off the blinding light and blinking through the swirling serenity of glittering starlight pouring in through their window as their ship passed through a gorgeous, uncharted nebula.

They'd been married for near three whole cycles now, trading the boisterous lives of two rowdy, undomesticated bachelors for their own slice of matrimonial heaven and warmhearted adoration. Sure, they had their ups and downs like every other couple in the galaxy, but they were infinitely happy. Purple had been to a few ridiculous cooking classes and learned how to bake Red peanut butter cookies that were halfway edible, and Red had toiled to paint their joint quarters as a surprise gift for his partner after work one long, weary day. They had decorated to the best of their ability, hanging Purple's surprisingly impressive, vivid canvas paintings from his time in the Academy as Red expertly reupholstered their furniture with skilled hands to tie everything together for the final touch. They had been intimately satisfied to curl up against one another at night and watch reruns of their favorite comedy shows on the loveseat or lounge around into late, cozy mornings over bitter coffee and mint tea. It was perfect; an absolute dream come true for the both of them…until Purple had come across an intriguing bit of news flashing over his personal transmitter. As much as he enjoyed diplomatic banter and watching stout politicians tear each other's throats out over tiny podiums, this debate was odd. Really odd. With the integration of Vortian refugees back into public on Irk after the Irken-Vortian Conflict, new cultural ways of living had been presented to the Irken race that had long gone by the wayside.

Or so everyone thought.

Purple had read over the article in surprising detail, feeling his pulse escalate with every line and fleeting sentence until the reality and exquisite beauty of what he had learned had begun to sink in and melt him at the core. Irkens were beginning to have natural smeets again. _Natural_ smeets without the machinery to raise them or the robotic callousness to drill information into their youthful minds. It wasn't unheard of, necessarily, but it was exceedingly rare for any smeet born outside of the cold, mechanical clutches of the myriad of Smeeteries beneath the surface to even appear in the planetary news. Breeding blockers had been imposed upon standard issue PAK systems from the time of hatching to prevent the inefficiencies of natural conception, and no one had ever thought to question it much, until the rise of pregnant Vortian mothers throughout the planet piqued the mounting interest and pangs of archaic need within hundreds of Irken men and women around the cosmos. Purple had stared down at the screen in awe, admiring the dozens of photographs of new families bouncing giggling newborns on their laps and the utter excitement of fathers pressing their thrilled antennae to the petite, swollen bellies of their ecstatic wives to listen. The Control Brains had been hounding him and Red for a while to donate their DNA to Smeeteries around the capitol in an attempt to increase the chances of taller, leaner Irkens being pumped out into the public like rats, but Purple had held off. He never liked the idea of his potential children stuck fifty miles underground in front of a computer screen for eight hours of the day learning battle strategy. Where was the affection? Where was their chance to run about and play? To actually enjoy youth for once?

But this…this changed _everything_.

"You coming to bed or are you just gonna stare at me all night?" Red's soft voice cut through the darkness, drawing his frozen partner forward from where he stood in deep thought. He shifted slightly with a grin when Purple finally shook free the lifechanging proposal with a fat yawn and smiled back, slipping effortlessly beneath their sheets and giggling when Red took his hands to toy with his claws like he always did.

"You're cute, you know." He breathed adoringly, admiring the stunning trail of cosmic warmth cascading in through their skylight to illuminate his husband's imperfect skin. He pulled his balmy fingers away and flittered up to trace mindlessly at the sea of old battle scars dotting Red's bare shoulders, smoothing away the past horrors of war with his palms before snaking his arms down around his waist to pull him flush against his chest, relishing in the feeling of his steady pulse so close.

"I'm not cute." He grumbled back, flinching when Purple's antennae flicked forward to lightly graze at his cheek. He scrunched up his face and stuck out his tongue teasingly when Purple pulled back, perplexed at the sudden shift in the mood. "Geez, you smell terrible. Take a shower, you gross freak."

Purple rolled his eyes impishly and jabbed Red hard in the ribs, knocking the air out of him before erupting in a fit of obnoxious laughter. "Hey, I took one this morning! And you think _I_ smell bad? I'm not the one who goes to the gym before lunch and comes straight back to the bridge in all his sweaty goodness. You wanna talk about gross? I have to sit next to you for hours, asshole!" He joked vibrantly, satisfied when Red pouted and let up his front in favor of trailing his groggy gaze up over the shadows dancing across the smooth ceiling.

"I'm getting older, Pur." He growled defensively, crossing his arms over his chest as he furiously avoided eye contact. "I don't wanna end up all wrinkled and flabby like General Gor. Have you seen him lately? He looks like a green raisin and I will not go down that road."

"Don't be like that, Red." Purple mused with a tiny giggle, nuzzling back into his partner's shoulder and leaning forward to plant a gentle, lingering kiss to his collarbone. "You're not 150 anymore. So what? I still think you look sexy."

Red immediate perked up at the word, trying to appear distant when Purple ran his soothing touch up to rest on his strong jawline, leisurely turning his attention back. "You…eh…you do?" He asked as passively as he could manage through his swelling ego, biting back a cheesy smile when Purple nodded into the dense fabric of his pillow and traced a thumb up over his cheekbone. After three cycles, he still got butterflies from that sweltering look.

"Duh. Why do you think I married you in the first place?"

"Wait…you only married me for my looks? You're joking right?"

"Am I?"

"…um-"

"Dumbass, of course I'm joking. I married you because I _love_ you. I'd still love you even if you looked like a foot or something. Or a raisin, I guess."

"Is this permission for me to stop trying?"

"Eh…I mean…." Purple snuck his scorching touch between them, outlining every svelte muscle and dip he could find with loving examination, exploring the whole of Red's body like a magnificent, scenic landscape for him to get lost in. Oh, how he loved to get lost here.

Red grinned when Purple bit his lip, leaning down and tenderly capturing mouth against his, feeling his husband's sweet, ardent breath graze his skin when he let another smitten giggle slip. "I'll take that as a no." Red chuckled between kisses, slowing their pace to a crawl when things got too heated and bringing Purple back down from where he danced in the stratosphere. "I love you."

Purple sighed and pulled away, feeling Red tenderly entwine their long fingers as he closed his eyes and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you too…" He trailed off, blinking himself back awake when the article from a few months ago had somehow wormed its way gently into the back of his mind. He had been right; they weren't 150 anymore…and they had been legally married for quite some time now…

Huh. Everyone else in the movement already had children. Would it still be too late to start trying?

Red noticed Purple stiffen in his touch, moving away slightly to run his crimson gaze over his deep concentration in language sweeps. "I know that look." He mumbled through the growing stagnation. "You're overthinking again. What's wrong?"

Out of nowhere, Purple felt his nerves spike. Were they really going to talk about this now? Not in another month, not in another day, not in ten minutes. Were they going to decide the fate of their futures together, right _here_, right _now_? He'd run through the conversation thousands of times in his head over the past month, but it always felt to rickety and unstable to finally crack open and take a leap of faith. What if Red didn't want a smeet? What if he pushed Purple away and yelled, or belittled him or called his dreams of starting a family…_their_ family stupid? What if that's just all this hope was; a dream meant to flutter back out into the cosmos and be swallowed whole by the callous, unkind karma of their starry creator? What if…what if…

Red panicked and propped himself up on his elbow when he felt hot tears land against his shoulder, fumbling to click on the lamp on his nightstand when Purple threw his hands over his face and sat up, drawing his knees into his chest as he was plagued with terrible, soul-crushing thoughts of premature rejection.

"You're crying?" Red reached out for his wrist but shied back in discomfited bewilderment when Purple shrugged away. "Baby, what's wrong? D-did I do something?"

Purple curled further into himself and shook his head despondently, willing his breathing to stay calm when his PAK alerted him to his rising body temperature. "No." he held back another whine. "It's just…dammit…I dunno. I dunno, Red. You're right, we're not that young anymore and we're losing time to start…no, just forget it. Forget it, it's ridiculous."

Red faltered a few seconds before rustling back over across the comforter in the renewed light and gingerly wrapping an arm around his husband's sobbing shoulders to drag him back in through his mounting fears. "Talk to me, Pur." He reassured, rubbing slow, soothing circles into his shoulder blades as he cried. "After all this time you shouldn't be afraid to talk to me anymore."

Purple still refused to look up, a pang of irritation breaking through the crack in his voice. "No. I know you and you'll think it's dumb!" His voice went up an octave and Red flattened his antennae to the shrill distress shattering their serene night in two.

"Thanks for the faith." Red tried a halfhearted attempt at being humorous before letting it die back down with a sigh. "Come on, whatever it is can't be _that_ bad."

"I said no!"

"What the hell, Pur? You started it so just say it!"

"Don't give me that. I've been trying to talk to you about this for a month now but…"

"A _month_? That long? But what?"

"But…I'm scared." Purple finally looked back up with a thick sniff, wiping his raw eyes on the back of his shaky hand before tracing his partner's thoroughly confused face. "I'm scared you're going to make fun of me."

Red hardened, tightening his grip slightly before glancing to the side to break up his own nervousness towards the unknown. "Are you in trouble or something? If you are you need to tell-"

Purple took a deep breath and spoke without thinking, letting go the torrent of insurmountable feelings and warmhearted emotions he had been keeping hidden for thirty grueling days against his better judgement. Red had to know…he couldn't keep this inside anymore without knowing what he would say. "I want a baby." He breathed simply, feeling his blood run cold when Red froze completely and his jaw went slack, staring over his shoulder at the far wall at the Irk-shattering statement he never thought he would hear. There was a long, droning silence that seemed to drag on for cycles, only adding to the weighty anxiety and discomfort pressing it's icy fingers down into Purple's shoulders. Oh, Irk. Did he hate it? Did he think it was stupid? He took a shallow breath and decided to continue when Red tried to say something but faltered, instead furrowing his brow and losing himself to his own racing thoughts.

"I-I read an article about the natural smeet movement and I want my breeding blockers removed so…um…so we can start-."

"Trying?" Red muttered uncomprehendingly, finishing his sentence before averting his gaze to his lap in a mixture of emotion that Purple couldn't identify.

Purple held his breath before letting it go in a low, defeated exhale when a depressing weight crushed down against his chest. "It's alright, I knew it was a weird idea anyway. Let's just go to bed." He brushed Red's rigid fingers from his shoulder and flopped back down, rolling over to mask the undeniable anguish plastered over his face. He winced when the mattress shifted and the tepid light poured away with a soft click, expecting strong hands around his waist but not surprised when they didn't come.

"You want a smeet?" Red's voice was clear and blank as he repeated the obvious to himself. "With…me?"

Purple buried deeper into his pillow against his frustration, growing more annoyed than hopeless at this point and refusing to roll over when he felt a tentative palm land on his back to trace the length of his spine to the seam of his PAK. "No, I want one with General Gor." He sneered sarcastically, shying away from the soft advance. "You're my husband, Red, who else would I wanna have a smeet with?"

"But, what about the public?" Red struggled to wrap his mind around the life changing information, running it through his mouth and drinking in every connotation behind the idea of having tiny feet running around the Massive. "I mean, our marriage is already controversial. You know they'd lose their minds if you got...well...if you got..."

If. Purple hated that word. That meant things could go both ways, leaving him in a limbo state of misunderstanding and uncertainty. "You think I really care what the public thinks if I get pregnant? It's completely natural for us to have a baby together." He stopped himself short, feeling his anger fade to be replaced with something hollow creeping in at his peripheries. "I just thought it would be nice to start a family someday."

He finally rolled back over to face the inevitable slew of scolding, blinking in surprise when he noticed something wholly unexpected staring back at him. He yelped in sudden disbelief when Red flew down through his giddy grin, scooping him up and pulling him onto his chest to pepper sweet butterfly kisses down his jaw as Purple reeled from the unexpected shock. Wait…huh? _Happiness_? Why was there happiness?! There was no rage, no despondency, no cruel, punishing laughter thrown back in his face as he silently felt his wishes stomped into the dust. Joyous laughter rang out over his buzzing antennae, only further complicating the already incredibly confusing subject they had waltzed into. No…there was only love. Pure, unabridged love and adoration topped with an unanticipated, exquisite exhilaration as Red buried his face into the crook of his neck and chuckled, squeezing him tight to his chest like he never wanted to let go.

"You actually want a smeet?" Red cried euphorically, pulling back and beaming back up at Purple from below. "You mean it?"

Purple swallowed, still unsure of where this was going as he glanced to the side. "Yes?" He replied cautiously, eyes widening when Red drug him down against his will into an enthusiastic, dreamy kiss that reignited the gorgeous, fiery spark of longing rebounding between them and made Purple's skin prickle with bewildered eagerness.

He felt his apprehensions begin to dissolve into the melting aether around them, sinking into the strong chest of the Irken that had captured his flighty affections so long ago as he banished every dark fear, every timid inhibition creeping through his bloodstream with the warmth of his lips and the reassuring devotion of his hands. When Red finally pulled away, he could barely keep his wandering touch to himself, roaming expanses of perfect skin and eating up the nervous giggles sung against his cheek as if they were the most beautiful song in the universe. Was it true? Did he really feel the same?

"Ok." Red finally piped up through his sudden exhilaration, biting his lip and palming at the side of his lover's face when his deep amethyst eyes lit up with a profound joy that warmed him to the bone. "Let's do it."

Purple couldn't help himself, bursting out in another fit of untamable, infinitely sunny tears. He tried a few times to form a coherent sentence, feeling it die on his lips before he was finally able to squeak something out through his disbelief. "A-Are you sure?" He beamed, running his unsteady palms behind Red's neck.

It was Red's turn to let his nerves shine through, giving in to the slow rise of faint color staining his cheeks. "I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it too." He admitted frankly through his teeth, watching every flicker of his husband's eyes carefully as he spoke. "I've always secretly wondered what it would be like to be a dad."

At the telltale word, Purple felt his heart swell and crest. "You wanna be a dad?" He repeated softly, blinking away the hazy tears threatening to stain his skin once more. "Do you know what this means for us?"

Red nodded wholeheartedly, flipping Purple onto his back as he giggled wildly beneath him, batting playfully at his chest when he pinned him and attacked him with a barrage of nuzzling affection and honied kisses he couldn't fight off through his weakened elation. Purple threw his head back with a loud snort, clamping a hand over his mouth to shield himself and prevent the immature noise from escaping again before melting into the incredible worship with a low, rumbling hum.

"It means," Red chuckled between fleeting grazes and soft sighs, "that you and I are going to pave the way for a new era…and be the best damn parents in the galaxy."

* * *

Ok! Hope you enjoyed this little thing! Like I said, if you wanna read this in succession, read the pregnancy announcement, "Finish Your Coffee," next and then move on to "You, Plus Me, Equals Three," to meet the tiny, adorable menace that these two dorks manage to keep afloat. Have a good day, love!


End file.
